porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
