Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Randomize
