You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
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