I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
