He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
