His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Randomize
