How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
