from now on my penis is your penis
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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