yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
