Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
Randomize
