He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize