Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
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