just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
