sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Your topless pictures make me question reality
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
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