I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
