Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
This is my gift to your gina
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
