Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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