Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
