Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
