doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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