If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
You are a booty call, not a friend.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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