i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
People around me are just doing lines of cocaine. Like its no big deal. And I'm just here like.... Y'all want some cheezits?
You may now shotgun with the bride
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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