Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
