$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
