addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Nothing can teach you regret more efficiently than a wine hangover.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
