Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
