I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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