the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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