Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize