he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
