Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
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