she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
Randomize
