so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
