may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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