Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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