My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
