I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
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