why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
