At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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