maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
