yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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