shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Randomize
