my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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