i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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