And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Okay... I just said "preach it" to the pokemon theme song. I'm hammered.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
