I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
