They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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