I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
