There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
