I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
Randomize
