You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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