The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
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