You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
