Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
