I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
