What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
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