It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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