My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
is wine microwaveable?
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
