i don't plan on having that self control this summer
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize